I have been bad about keeping this blog updated! I have no excuse, I just didnt want to do it! We made it into October, and my ear is starting to ring again. It did stop ringing for a bit, just for about twenty minutes, I was ecstatic with joy, jumping up and down for a bit!
It is October 5, 2009, and 8 more days left until My adventures really start to happen with my cochlear implant or implants! I am not sure what the doctors are going to suggest, I know I will be getting at least one of them and it will be my right ear.
I have been watching this reality TV show on LOGO TV about a guy who wants to open a bar in West Hollywood called i-candy. Cute name and very cute guy, his name is Tyler Robuck, he is a babe and he heart of gold and sensitive as hell! but as I watching the show, it was digging up my desires to open a bar lounge of my own !!! I really want to do this. But, I wanted to see about what is going on with his bar now! So, I looked it up and he lost his business! and I realized that this could be me ! I just about floored myself! I want to open one up so bad it is all I have ever wanted to do, since I went into my aunt colleens bar.
Anyway, enough about the bar and my future dreams !
I am getting more and more excited about the Cochlear Implant and James is getting to be more supportive. I dont know what I would do without James being here for me!
Part of thinks he wants this for his own selfish reasons, but then I smack myself and say snap out of it! He loves you unconditionally! I am pretty happy here in Minneapolis, I have only seen maybe a 10th of it ! The first thing I really wanted to do and see was to go to the MOA ( Mall Of America ) I had been there before but didnt really pay attention to it. So, the first free day that I had, I got in to the car and put the MOA in the gps and it was like go go go !!
I got close to it and I said OMG IKEA!!!! so I went there instead !! I am such a fag, sometimes. I DON'T LIKE USING THAT WORD A LOT! but I am one, arent I ?
I went to IKEA and just went crazy! looking and drooling! But, then it hit me. I am going deaf and started to cry a little ! I headed over to MOA, Parked and set my alarm on my car. started to walk away and about 5 minutes later a lady tapped me on the shoulder and said "young man I have been trying to get your attention for five minutes, you dropped your wallet! here ya go" That did it for me! I just sat down on the sidewalk and puled out a cigarette, lit it, and bawled!
Well, after my cryfest I just snapped out of it and said "No More"! Inside the MOA is very loud and chaotic. I could feel the noise, tension, joy, and sadness. I could hear low hums, high heel shoes hitting the tile, occasional scream for the kids on the rides, and people conversing. I was just looking around and realized something, It's OK ! :) Im gonna be ok!
Today, I'm on my second day of my adventure of quitting smoking, It has been easy for now! I can feel the urge building up inside of me to get on my bike (James has the car) and go to the store to buy cigarettes ! I am just trying to keep myself busy. My reason for quitting smoking is for a number of reasons, first and foremost for my health. Secondly, I want to stop lying to James, the kids, and everyone! Every time I lit up one of those things, I was lying ! I feel guilty about it ! So I am doing something about it! Its about time I grew up !
I am going to start exercising as well, maybe get my muscle tone back and get healthy again! I might take up running I'm not sure yet. I do have a bad knee, so I should make sure with docs! and no i am not hypochondriac!! I did have surgery on my knee and my doc said no hard core running ! I wanna see if I can run hard core and start getting my legs into shape!
TTYL
Im OUTTIE !
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